It's twee but manages to skirt around cliche with some wonderfully unique ideas.
The only change I would make is:
- Clean up the double space lines. - Remove the italics and bold -- you don;t need it because your words are strong enough on their own. - I would tweak the second to last stanza by changing the word "think" for "know" and ending that line with the word crazy.
Let the reader fill in the rest of the words with the imagery you invoke.
Also, do you have another word for crazy? Something more personal? For example, I use the word "loopy" for crazy. Changing this word for something a bit more esoteric would be in keeping with the rest of the poem.
It's twee but manages to skirt around cliche with some wonderfully unique ideas.
The only change I would make is:
- Clean up the double space lines.
- Remove the italics and bold -- you don;t need it because your words are strong enough on their own.
- I would tweak the second to last stanza by changing the word "think" for "know" and ending that line with the word crazy.
Let the reader fill in the rest of the words with the imagery you invoke.
Also, do you have another word for crazy? Something more personal? For example, I use the word "loopy" for crazy. Changing this word for something a bit more esoteric would be in keeping with the rest of the poem.
Well done and thank you for a great read